Tag Archives: hubby

Tweet, tweet. Boom.

8 Apr

Todays’ HAWMC prompt is to write about the best conversation you had during the week.  I’m going to apologize in advance for subjecting you to this.

Hubs (looking out front window): Boy, the robins sure do love the lawn after it’s been aerated.

Me: I bet it makes the bugs easier to catch.

Hubs: What we really need is to genetically modify robins so that as they dig for worms in the lawn they also drop grass seed.  That would save me so much time.  Of course, then they would need some sort of biological advantage so they would survive better than the regular robins.

Me: You mean, like make them bigger?

Hubs: Yeah.

Me: Or make them bulletproof?

Hubs: LOL.  We could give them little tiny bulletproof vests.

At that point in the conversation, I started picturing a very bloody version of the Sneetches.  At one point in time, a silly conversation about outfitting wildlife with kevlar wouldn’t have been possible for me.  After No1 was born, all I could talk about was the baby or my anxieties about the baby.

And that, my friends is why this is the best conversation I had this week.  It had nothing to do with PPD, anxiety, or children.  It was just a funny moment between a husband and a wife.  This time around, I’m not taking that for granted.

Jealousy

29 Aug

Annenberg Hall - The First Year Dining Hall

In just a few days, my husband begins his time as a PhD candidate at Harvard University.  Though his first class isn’t until Wednesday, he’s spent the last week in orientation, meeting with his adviser, and taking in the campus.  I am proud of him beyond words.  He has earned every last bit of this and is about to fulfill a life-long dream.  His excitement is contagious and it’s amazing to see him so enthusiastic and hopeful.  But.  Honestly?

I’m insanely jealous.

It’s not just the amazing sights, though they are enough to take your breath away.  It’s that he’s on this new adventure, entering a new phase of his life, learning amazing things from amazing people, and I fear being left behind.  I mean, he spent one day last week touring the grounds and got to peek into Annenberg Hall, and I…well I wiped toddler butt.

This is not a pity party.  Let me be clear.  I choose to stay home with my daughter and I am happy deeply content with the balance I’ve managed to find between being a SAHM and a music teacher.  And just like when I was teaching full-time in public school, I feel fulfilled by what I do.  But let’s be honest.  Although raising children is the most important thing most of us will ever do, snacktime and potty training do pale in comparison to Harvard when it comes to daily routine.  There is no glamor in the day-to-day life of a SAHM.  Although there are may perks (hellooo, pajamas at 2pm!), prestige and excitement are not among them.

Gate to Harvard Yard

 

The bottom line is that the jealousy is my problem, not his.  And I honestly think it’s absent of any deep-seeded longing for my life to change.  I mean, come on…it’s freaking Harvard.  How cool is that???  Who wouldn’t be jealous?  If it sticks around once the novelty of the new school year has worn off, I’ll know I need to reevaluate my choices and see if I want to do something different.  I know he would support me 100% regardless of my dream.  And so I’ve told him, ” Soak in every moment.  Don’t stop telling me about all the amazing things you see and people you meet.  Stay excited – I want you to revel in this before it becomes pedestrian and stressful.”  I really hope he does, because he deserves it.

 

 

Almost Wordless Wednesday

23 Aug

This is why I love him.

And So It Goes

14 Feb

If you know me, then you know my husband is my perfect for me.  Because chances are, if you know me, you remember him, too.  Being married to a boy you knew in elementary school leaves you connected to all the same people.  And it leaves very little to the imagination.

This man of mine has known me as a child, a teenager, an adult, and as a parent (which we can all agree is like adult 2.0).  He’s seen me muddle through each phase of my life and witnessed my mistakes.  He’s celebrated each huge milestone and trudged through my darkest days.  And through all of it, he’s loved me.  The real me.

We all put up masks.  We adapt to fit the social situation we are in.  Perhaps unintentionally, we try to hide our worst bits.  I mean, who wants to walk into a party and announce, “I’m awkward with large groups of people and am secretly worried you are all judging me”?  Instead, we put on our best smile and try to look confident.  No one is posting Facebook pictures of themselves with the stomach flu, or 3 days postpartum with no makeup on and -5 days of sleep.  We reserve these little nuggets of truth for the people we trust the most.  But even with them, it’s not easy to be real.

My husband?  He’s see it all.  Once in college, I got food poisoning and spent the day in the health center hooked up to IV’s.  It was bad.  Puke-on-the-nurse bad.  But I swear, when we walked into the room, he looked at me like I was still the most beautiful women he had ever laid eyes on.  After college, he stood beside me while I lost myself in my career as a teacher, spending every waking hour either grading papers or worryingobsessing about students.  We’ve made two major cross-country moves together (and if that doesn’t bring out the worst in a person, I don’t know what does).  After DB was born, only he saw the extent of the devastation left by the postpartum depression and anxiety.  With him, there’s never been a mask.

And he loves me.  All of me.  Without condition.  It’s not that there aren’t things he wishes were different.  I’m sure he would love if I could manage to do a load of laundry without running the tumble press cycle (aka: lazy button) on the dryer four times.  And I know for sure he wonders if I will ever learn when to shut up and leave something alone.  But that’s just it.  He wishes some things were different, knows they won’t ever change, and still thinks I’m amazing.  And you know what?  I feel the same way about him.

What started out as love has become a deep, honest, devoted partnership.  We are both flawed, complicated, stubborn people.  We’ve been through our rough patches, and our marriage takes work.  But when he says he loves me, I know he really means every word.  Especially the last one.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

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