I don’t know you, but because we both love Story, I know you must be good people. The best people. Because that’s what Story is.
Six weeks in with each of my babies, I began to wonder what I was ever thinking by having children. The sleep deprivation devoured my brains and even the cat wasn’t immune from my resentment. So if you’re having a hard time, I want you to know that it’s so, so normal. A rite of passage, almost.
Story wrote you a wonderful list of 8 things she wish she had known about having babies. I’ll add on my “things I wish they’d told me” below, with so much love and affection.
(9) You belong to the club now. There is no secret mom handshake, but you will find yourself exchanging knowing glances with other moms out in the world. Let these remind you you are not alone.
(10) There is an industry out there that makes a killing off of mothers’ insecurities. Promising “the right way” to get your baby to sleep/eat/poop/nurse/learn/everything, they sometimes have helpful nuggets of information. But mostly? All those books, magazines, and videos just make you doubt yourself more. Put down the books. Listen to your mama gut. It is there, I promise.
(11) It is okay for other people to take care of your baby differently than you do. When I stopped thinking about leaving my baby as depriving her, and began thinking of it as enriching her life with the other people who love and care for her, it became easier to make time for myself.
(12) Nobody knows what they’re doing, even if they look like they do. And just when you think you’ve got it figured out, everything changes. I may know babies now, but I’m in uncharted territory with my 5 year old. And that’s okay. The “muddling through” feeling is okay. Really.