On Marriage Equality

29 Mar

On Tuesday, March 26th, I changed my Facebook profile picture, as did 2.7 million other Facebook users (2.7 million, people!), according to The Atlantic.  And while it may initially seem like a shallow gesture, the sea of red equal symbols isn’t just another example of a Facebook chain-letter-of-sorts.  Unlike the “bra color” stunt for breast cancer awareness in 2010, I believe this is a movement that has real meaning.  After all, everyone was already against breast cancer, and no one really thought about their bra color or cancer after joining in the mischief.  I know I didn’t jump up and do a self-exam because of the meme.

red symbols

So what makes this social media craze any different?  Because changing my profile picture is the equivalent of me standing up and saying, “me, too,” of me standing behind the gay and lesbian community and letting them know I support them – not just in private, but publicly.  I don’t know how many of my friends and family knew before about my beliefs and position on marriage equality.  I rarely discuss my politics or moral beliefs, often because I don’t want them to define me.  But now there’s no question where I stand on this issue.

This was too important an ideal for me not to make a point to share.

I believe that equal protection under the law extends to gay and lesbian citizens.  I believe two consenting adults should be able to enter into contracts with one another, binding them together financially and legally if they desire.  And I believe that calling one institution “marriage” and the other “civil union” is unequal and discriminatory.

I also believe that if your faith or moral code does not allow for same-sex marriages, you are entitled not to have one.  But to utilize the government to enforce your beliefs is a violation of the establishment clause.

And while I’m at it?  This isn’t just an issue of constitutionality for me.  I believe that a person’s sexuality is a complicated matter.  That we are all different.  Not better, or worse.  Just different.  And being homosexual?  Isn’t perverse or shameful, and it doesn’t completely define a person.  It’s just another example of how beautifully multifaceted the human race is.

And though I am ready to see my own face again (and make it much less confusing to navigate the social network), my views will not change along with my photograph.

The Supreme Court is expected to make its ruling in June of this year.  I have hope that it will be in favor of civil rights.


More interesting reads on the topic of marriage equality:

House and Home by Vikki Reich – on what being a “single woman” despite being with her partner for 20 years feels like

Will Changing Your Facebook Profile Picture Do Anything for Marriage Equality? from Scientific American

You Look Good in Red – from Lesbian Family on how the gay and lesbian community feels about the red symbols

7 Responses to “On Marriage Equality”

  1. addyeB March 29, 2013 at 10:40 pm #

    I’m with you-it became about more than constitutionality for me a couple of years ago because to me, sexuality IS complicated and in my opinion has little to nothing to do with making conscious choices. Sexuality is part of being human and develops in people in varying ways-I don’t think we need to vilify or discriminate against people because of who they’re with/attracted to.

    And no-my faith or moral code should not have a governing say or influence in how another person is able to live their lives. I wish more Christians and people of other faiths held the same view. My faith and my politics aren’t married to each other…..

    AWESOME post. Thanks for putting your beliefs out there!

  2. Not Just About Wee (@notjustaboutwee) March 29, 2013 at 10:57 pm #

    You rock Mama!

  3. Cristi @ Motherhood Unadorned March 29, 2013 at 11:28 pm #

    110% agree!

  4. uppoppedafox March 30, 2013 at 1:34 pm #

    Brava…and thank you. Changing an avatar may not pact the SCOTUS hearings but I can’t express how I felt when I saw all that red. For once, seeing red was the best possible thing. We’ve been fighting this fight for a long time – so glad that more people are speaking out and fighting with us.

    • learnedhappiness March 30, 2013 at 1:41 pm #

      Vikki, I truly believe the more everyone, especially straight people, speak up, the sooner this kind of intolerance will become taboo. Did you read the SA article linked at the bottom about the effect of social movements? It gives me hope.

  5. learnedhappiness April 18, 2013 at 8:55 am #

    Ohhhh…I had no idea what that was even about…oops. I am so lucky that my country sees the way I see it. If you love someone, then there is no reason why you should not be able to get married. 3 of my bestfriends are gay and they just got married within the last 4 years. They were probably the most emotional weddings that I’ve ever been to. Love their faces. They deserve to be treated just like anyone else. We are all human.

    From Kim @momgosomethingsomething

    Kim, WordPress duplicated a post and it was a huge mess. I had to move your comment over from the duplicate. xoxo


  1. Fill in the Blank | Learned Happiness - July 5, 2013

    […] sexual orientation does not define who they are.  That it is not something to judge, and that their relationships deserve the recognition and rights that those of straight relationships take for… I deeply regret the time I spent judging and misunderstanding a group of people because of a […]

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