15 Oct


I’m linking up with with  Tracy,  Galit , and Alison for Memories Captured today.  They’ve asked us to honor our children – to take a moment and celebrate who they are and to be respectful of them when we write.  I use this blog to share my own feeling about motherhood and my experience living with a mental illness, so I am always mindful of what my children might think when they read it many years from now.  I want it to reflect how much I cherish them, but also how challenging it has been for me to become a parent and to balance my life with the life of this family.  I hope they will take all the imperfections I share here and see their mother as more than just “mom,” instead a whole person with hopes, dreams, struggles, and bad days.

But when they read this post, (Hi, Doodlebug!  Hi, Bean!) all I want them to see is how proud I am to be their mother.  Because I am.  Even on the hardest days and the longest nights, I am.

No1 turned four this past week.  During her party, all the kids climbed into the giant-cardboard-box-turned-convertible and pretended to drive to Story Land.  They all played so nicely together the whole party and No1 was in the middle of it all, being celebrated and lavished with the affection her bright personality brings to all of us.  I love this picture.  I love how she’s surrounded by her friends.  I love the look of belonging I can see in her eyes.  I hope that this is one birthday she will actually remember years from now, because it was incredible.  She is incredible.





10 Responses to “Four”

  1. Mercy October 15, 2012 at 10:35 pm #

    What a fun idea.

  2. Tracy Morrison (@sellabitmum) October 15, 2012 at 11:21 pm #

    Oh my word – this is such a beautiful post. Love her. And four is an amazing age. She will remember. xo

    • learnedhappiness October 16, 2012 at 9:13 am #

      Thanks. I hope so. I have bits of memories from being 4. I hope this party is one of hers years from now.

  3. Galit Breen (@GalitBreen) October 16, 2012 at 12:05 am #

    What an absolutely lovely capture of her day, your love, her fun.

    This is lovely, lady! And happy birthday to your sweet-as-pie girl!

  4. Alison October 16, 2012 at 1:40 am #

    Your children will know you honored them, in your words, your capturing of moments. Your love for them shines through.

    Happy 4th Birthday to your girl!

  5. Margaret (@mammacockatoo) October 16, 2012 at 2:34 am #

    What a lovely memory captured so beautifully.

    Happy Birth Day and Birthday!

    • Margaret (@mammacockatoo) October 16, 2012 at 2:43 am #

      Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I’m so behind on blog reading and started with this one, reading backwards. I realise your birth(ing) day wasn’t so happy at all. I hope I haven’t upset you.

      But it was also your birth as a mother, and you still did the work that day to bring your beautiful girl into the world. I hope you can see how far you’ve come, and what a wonderful mother you are, strengthened by your experiences and the way you have handled them.

      Hugs to you, and apologies again for my ignorant choice of words!

      • learnedhappiness October 16, 2012 at 9:12 am #

        No apologies needed. It was a day worth celebrating, too. And it *was* a happy party day. A happy celebration. Thank you for being so thoughtful, though. You didn’t upset me at all.

  6. Maureen | Scoops of Joy October 17, 2012 at 10:56 pm #

    Happy belated birthday to your beautiful girl. This post is so beautiful 🙂

  7. Robin | Farewell, Stranger October 19, 2012 at 8:05 pm #

    So awesome! I hope she does remember it. 🙂

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