27 Jun

3am Feed baby.  Pee.  Go back to sleep.

5am Feed baby.  Negotiate with cat for space on the bed.  Go back to sleep.

7am Pretend to be sound asleep when hubs gets up with the now completely awake baby.

7:30am Nurse Baby.  Beg husband to hang around for just a few more minutes so I can shower.  Put in headband for no-heat curls.

8am Breakfast.  Pop Tarts.  Untoasted.  Since there are two in a sleeve, I count it as one serving.

8:30am Preschooler awakens and immediately grabs toys for baby.  A good moment.  I make a note to soak it in.

9am Fruity cereal for the preschooler and smashed bananas for the baby.  I take my antidepressant and anti anxiety meds with a swig of the preschooler’s leftover juice.

9:30am Take out headband, look in mirror.  No-heat FAIL.  Pin hair to head in makeshift bun while the preschool plays with makeup and the baby chews on curlers.

10:30am How is it already 10:30?!  We were supposed to leave 20 minutes ago!  Speed-nurse baby and rush out the door.

11:15am Tutoring.  Baby screams her head off when I pass her off.  And yet, I connect with my student and think of how far she’s come.

12:15pm Piano Lesson.  Ignore anxiety as student’s mom consoles preschooler who has hit her head.  Baby falls asleep in carrier while I prepare my oldest student for Sunday’s recital.  We laugh about mistakes and at musical geek jokes.  Think how well everything is going.

1pm Back to Mom’s house to check on her cat.  Nurse baby while playing with miniature Cars figurines.  Why do they even make toys this small?  And why do children gravitate to them?  Attempt to set alarm.  Fail.  Run out the door as it beeps and counts down.  Cross fingers the cops don’t appear.

2pm Arrive at mall for lunch.  Without a stroller.  Carry baby, diaper bag, and portable potty seat like a pack animal.  Make a mental note for when my back is strained tomorrow.

2:30pm Lunch in the food court.  Burger King.  Fellow mall rats smile as they watch me attempt to keep my chicken sandwich out of the baby’s elasto-arm grasp.  Share fries with preschooler.  Sigh with happiness.

3:00pm Drive home while baby screams.  For 35 minutes.  For no apparent reason.  Jingle car keys and play “What Does A Monkey Driving a Tow Truck Sound Like?” with preschooler in an attempt to keep baby awake for the last 3 minutes of the ride.  This nap WILL happen at home.

3:30pm Preschooler in room for rest.  Nurse and nap baby.  Call Mom back.  Crash on couch.

3:45pm Baby cries.  Snuggle baby.  Check on preschooler.  Remove Barbie shoe from child’s mouth.  Again with the small toys.

4:00pm Retrieve Barbie car for preschooler.  Baby cries.  Snuggle baby back to sleep.

4:30pm Relieve preschooler from resting.  Say no to television but yes to computer game, which toddler uses to watch an episode of her favorite show anyway.  Sigh inwardly and move on.

5pm Nurse cranky baby.  Carry cranky baby around while attempting to make spaghetti dinner, put in a white load of laundry, prep cloth diapers for the wash, and discipline preschooler who is now mad at the computer.

5:30pm Dinner.  Without the guest who promised to come.  Make excuses to preschooler throughout dinner.  Try not to be mad.

6:30pm Bath.  Ask preschooler what she wants to play with.  “Baby Sister,” is her reply.  Smile.

6:45pm Beg preschooler to be helpful since Mommy is on her own tonight for bedtime.  Leave her “brushing” her teeth to dress the baby.

7pm Husband walks upstairs.  Divide and conquer.  Cuddle notatalltiredseemommyIcanholdmyeyesopen baby to sleep.

7:30pm Clean kitchen.  Switch laundry.  Apologize to husband for the mess.

8pm Fold laundry.  Notice this is the most relaxing thing I’ve done all day.

8:30pm Ignore second load of laundry beeping in the dryer.  Sit down with computer and decompress.

9pm Lie in bed.  Stare at ceiling.  Attempt to sleep.

10pm Nurse baby.

12am Start all over again.

5 Responses to “Today.”

  1. addyeB June 27, 2012 at 10:14 pm #

    Oh how I remember those days-preschooler & infant. Working at home while juggling the preschooler & the infant who always cried….I never thought they’d end. And they haven’t-but somehow they’ve gotten easier to manage (most days).

    I know you’re exhausted. I wish I could teleport over to where you’re at & be an extra set of hands. But since I can’t, what I can do us tell you that they will get easier to deal with, you will sleep again. 🙂 I love how you took time to stop pause and be in the moment, be grateful, be kind to yourself-instead of getting lost in the chaos and exhaustion of being a mother. I know that’s not easy to do, but today you did and that is beautiful, that is part of what makes you so fierce in my book. Love you Susan. I hope you’re able to get some more rest soon.

  2. MelissaBL June 27, 2012 at 10:21 pm #

    I found myself sighing with you. A lot. Hugs.

  3. quinn0808 June 27, 2012 at 11:42 pm #

    Omg pass the coffee. I still want another. I say over and over trying to convince myself after reading this. U rock mama

  4. Kimberly M (@momgosomething) July 1, 2012 at 10:07 am #

    Dude, I totally got the meat sweats after reading this.
    What a busy day!! You deserve a vacation.

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