This was taken in January 2011 after a sudden onset of intense leg pain. I have a lousy back. Lousy bones, lousy discs. And thanks to the pregnancy, lousy muscle tone now, too.
All the carrying, bouncing, and carseat wrangling has taken its toll now and if you follow me on twitter you know I’ve been unable to sleep at night without taking narcotics. And while I can nurse on them temporarily, it’s not a long term solution for anyone. Last week, hubs have baby bottles of clean milk from the fridge when I was drugged. With so many bottles, she started refusing to nurse. So to preserve our nursing relationship which I have fought tooth and nail for, we’ve limited bottles to one a day. Baby is getting way more medication than I’d like. She’s fine – showing no symptoms. But again, it’s not a long-term solution.
Yesterday I had a chiropractic adjustment in the hopes it would help. And it did – for a few hours. It’s now 4am and the pain is unbearable unless I walk around (which I am currently doing as I type on my phone). Not exactly optimal for sleeping. And now my left thumb twitched in controllable, which can’t be good.
So tomorrow its back to the doctor for a referral to a neurologist or orthopedic surgeon. At this point, I’m considering a steroid injection, which actually terrifies me, but I’m tired of worrying about nursing on the meds. Tired of having to pace the house every three hours at night waiting for relief. Tired of not being able to snuggle and carry my baby, and tired of hubs having to take care of all three of us, neglecting work and school to do so. You know what? I’m just tired.
I’m certain the chiropractor and my PCP will say to give it more time. But I feel like 10 days of narcotics is enough time. I hope no one will dare to suggest I just give the baby formula while I’m on the drugs. It has been 11 weeks of breastfeeding boot camp and things are just starting to feel easy(ish). I will *not* jeopardize all that work.
So. A traditional medical doctor tomorrow or bust… Because I have to trust my gut and be my own advocate. And this? Just ain’t working for me.