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11 Weeks

14 Mar

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This last week has been hellishly difficult. My grandmother passed away and although expected, her death leaves me feeling a little lost. And I have a feeling I’ll have to wait until things settle down here before I can really grieve.

And then last Wednesday, I woke up with shooting nerve pain down my left leg. I have a history of sciatica and lower back issues, and it was only a matter of time before all the bending and lifting caught up with my poor postpartum body. So I’ve been living on percocet, waiting for my body to heal.

To say in frustrated would be an understatement. I hate being a burden to my husband. I hate not being able to snuggle with my baby or play on the floor with my preschooler. Though I know this is temporary, it’s hard to remember that at 1am when I’m in bed, awake, waiting for the meds to kick in.

But. The silver lining is that I’ve been craving me some baby snuggles. She is blossoming – smiling and cooing. Blowing bubbles. And I can’t get enough of her. Which is a great feeling.

6 Responses to “11 Weeks”

  1. story3girl March 14, 2012 at 8:30 am #

    OMG, you are NO HELP to my baby fever. But I want to send you some hugs for the stuff that’s hard and some wailing applause for how well you’re handling it. It is too much to be on your plate. And I am proud of you for asking for and getting help and at the same time I 100% understand the frustration, the feeling of wanting to do more and not being able to. Of course you’re frustrated. It sucks. It is entirely unfair for you to be in pain right now. I’m so sorry.

  2. Jaime March 14, 2012 at 8:39 am #

    What a cute little bundle of snuggles! That photo should come with a warning to women of child-bearing age! She’s too cute! Both your girls are.

    Anyway, I’m so sorry about your grandmother and your pain–the physical and emotional. Sending you super duper healing vibes. xoxo

  3. Kimberly M (@momgosomething) March 14, 2012 at 6:39 pm #

    I am so sorry sweets.
    I suffer from chronic back pain and people don’t understand how hard it is to not only take care of ourselves..but a wee one as well. It is so straining physically…and emotionally.
    Praying for quick healing…
    And could she get any cuter??

  4. Andrea March 14, 2012 at 8:42 pm #

    Your little one is adorable! Remember that you are not a burden, we all need help sometimes. Hope you feel better soon!

    So sorry about your grandmother-sending hugs your way.

  5. mammacockatoo March 17, 2012 at 9:38 am #

    I’m so sorry for your loss, and for the pain that is wearing on you, physically and emotionally. It’s especially hard when you feel that your grieving and healing have to be put aside as a “to do” for later.
    I do understand, though, that craving time with baby is a great thing, and a sign of how well you are doing emotionally. I hope you are feeling well enough to do all those things you want to do really soon.

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