Change

8 Mar

After 6 months of not napping…we’re back to napping.  Maybe.  The thing is, I really have no clue what tomorrow holds.  My set-your-clocks-by-her-sleeping-habits child has been all over the place this last month.  Is it the sun coming up earlier?  The endless cycle of colds we seem to pass back and forth?  These damned two-year-old molars (which I heard aren’t a big deal.  Um…big. fat. lie.)?  The dark side of new cognitive and developmental milestones?  In any case, moments like this one today remind me that just as soon as you figure something out as a parent, it changes.

I hate change.  I fight it tooth and nail and end up losing every time.  You think I would have learned by now to go with the flow, but that’s just not who I am.  I like to know what to expect, because then I am sure to know how to cope.  I make myself miserable fighting for control.  It takes me days, weeks, and sometimes months to lean into a new change and adapt.

I knew before DB was born that this would be my biggest challenge as a parent – letting go of the control and being open to change.  I still struggle with it daily, but it’s a challenge I’m glad to have.  She makes me a better person by shaking my life up a little each day.

You know what never changes?  How peaceful sleeping children look.  She takes my breath away.

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